WHY BLACK MEN CHEAT.....PART 2

Sorry for the delay. But I didn't wanna just push out some b.s. on something so serious. (yeah, right, lol)

The second reason I would have to associate with black men cheating is self-esteem. Let's not confuse self-esteem with swagger, confidence or conceit. Those three are personality or surface traits. Things that can be turned off or on when necessary. Self-esteem goes deeper. How you view yourself speaks into what motivates you when nobody's looking. It's a character trait. It's the reason why even the most beautiful women can feel bad about their looks or feel insecure. This is a main area that black men are especially good at masking. We are very good at playing it like we have high self-esteem when deep down we are dealing with all kinds of insecurities. "Do I look good enough", "do I make enough money", "do I dress nice enough", etc. And within the black community there are several catalyst for opening up these insecurities.

Our culture focuses and puts so much emphasis on materialism, cultivating your outward appearance, and sexual prowess. Look at the music which has in the past and currently represents our community. It constantly focuses on how good you should make love to your woman (with r&b) and how many different "hoes" you have and how much of a pimp you are (with rap). This will put a lot of pressure on a man (from personal experience, sheesh ladies, lol). So many black men are going to use their skill in the bedroom as a measure for their self-esteem. Unfortunately, you can't get an accurate measure without testing it on different women. So what you get is a man who's constantly reassuring himself by how many women he can sleep with and how good they tell him he is in bed, even if the main one he is involved with constantly reassures him of this. As far as he's concerned, she's saying that because she loves him and wants to reassure him. His "swagger", his "confidence" is all manufactured to give the appearance of someone with high self-esteem and also because its part of the game. We already know that women are attracted to "confidence" and "swagger". Therefore, those surface traits that we know help us get women are the same ones that we use against women in an effort to make us feel better about ourselves.

I could probably write 10 more pages on this, but I think you understand what I'm talking about. Men are not going to cry or display emotion about our insecurities. We're going to mask them in ways that help us forget. And nothing makes you feel better about yourself than knowing that you can "bag up" any woman you want. You must be the man. Think about it. It occupies so much of our conversation when men get together. It what our music concentrates on. Unfortunately, its what our value system is based on.